Motivating People – Do you cater or do you coach?

A common mistake a lot of coaches make is:

a) they’re either too nice, they Cater

or

b) too negative to their players, they coach like a Hater

Mistake #1:  Cater

Sometimes when an athlete doesn’t want to get after it, their coach cuts them some slack. They wrongly believe being nice to the athlete will get the player to like them more.  And, therefore, try harder.

But that isn’t the case.  Often when this happens, young athletes tend to take advantage.  Before you know it, you have a team who disrespects you.

And when this happens, it’s a long way back to designing the team of your dreams.

The opposite is true too:

Mistake #2: Hater

I’ve seen many coaches take the “tough love” approach.  They’re inspired by the old school coaches who were tough to them when they played.  That’s the only style of coaching they know.

Or…

Maybe they were once too nice to their players, lost the respect of the team and are now using tough love to try and regain authority.

Either way….this approach almost certainly won’t get your players performing at their absolute best.

But, the difference is…

When you’re too tough, you’ve given your athletes conditional love.

Meaning:

You’ll only get my love if you do X, Y or Z.

But the big problem with this is you’re putting one athlete up against another. They’re comparing themselves to everyone else on the their team.

They’re rating their own skills, ability and performance against their teammates.

Not only that, but they’re not competing against themselves to be better this week than they were last week.

So….what’s the solution?

You have to be positive. But remember you’re also their coach and not their friend.  It’s your duty to get the best out of each player and hold them accountable.

Being too tough risks poisoning the atmosphere in your gym.  Negative atmosphere = negative attitude = negative performance. Which leads to the question.

Just how exactly do you find the right balance…

Every coach has their own strategy for this. Their strategies are mostly based on their experience and understanding the intricacies of their team on a deep level.

Here’s a blueprint for connecting with your players:

1.) It is essential to have a “Child’s” heart but an “Adults” mind.

2.) Take the time to get to know each player as an individual.

3.) Find out their short, medium and long-term goals.

4.) Work together to come up with a plan of action.

Once you have a shared vision for where the athlete wants to go, you have the license to hold the athlete accountable to help them achieve their specific goals and dreams.

This is how you can fill your gym with positivity and still be tough individually to athletes so they reach the goals they set for themselves.

They’re competing against themselves so you can give as much tough love as you feel necessary without risking players comparing themselves against their teammates.